New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
