I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
