I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
