CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When are your genitals available?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
