yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
