he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
