shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
