Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
