He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
