there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
