great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
