How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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