i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
