yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
