No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
