Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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