My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
