he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
