You're completely useless in the revolution.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
