The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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