with your own penis?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
