He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
