she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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