Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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