She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
