i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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