thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
