Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
