i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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