Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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