just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My breasts were aching with rage.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
