6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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