Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
