elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
