Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
