how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
