people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
