she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
