I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Green mimosas i think yes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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