do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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