normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
