I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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