If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
