Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So much rum. So many feels.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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