Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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