I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
