this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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