You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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