Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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