Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
