im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
