Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
