it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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