There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
