I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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