Sry I called you an 8
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
