It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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