Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
