yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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