I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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