woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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