I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
