Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
