Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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