cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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