her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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