Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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